The e-Freelancer's Open Book

The Spoon plate

2007-12-02T14:42:00.001+02:00

watching my face inside a spoon plate
seeing myself upside down
seeing everything behind me the same
seeing the face of the real life
everything is inverted, but still you can perceed it

faces in this life are so meaningful
faces are the mirror images for souls carrying them
same like the spoon plate i were looking for now
faces do show things upside down

so, if we want to behold the surrounding souls
just invert what you see , upside down
but if you want to see my soul , then
keep the image you see as it is

The eternal states

2007-11-23T17:56:00.000+02:00

semi frozen state ,
between ice and chilled
in the past we've dreamt of a green field
nowdays i try to bring thy dreams to life again...
but where is it ??

a dream have born before to surf
inside our hearts to stay together
inside this dream, we do lived
and we hidden it from each other

as stones , or rocks , or harder than
we are expressing to each other
and when the questions do come out
silence and strangeness cover its cores
a monochrome state , templated answers
i say and you say to each others

is it the end yet or is it the start?
are we so decent or we will depart
if we found some partners else

a strange state with great dreams to surf...
thy world both with each other
although we cant describe the state
nor can i undesrtand how do you feel ??

Till here

2007-10-30T00:08:00.000+02:00

Till here and stop
I wont let you
Entering my life, changing the truth
Of my dreaming imaginary world
I wont let you entering into

My dreaming romance in thy world
Consists of more than thousands words
Describing more than thousands thoughts
That sank on sadness and wont float
To reach the surface to respire
The age of happiness ended and expired

The Victim

2007-10-29T23:53:00.001+02:00

November 2000 , the month of my first triumph in the first publishing of my writings , and before the start of November 2007 , I want to repeat this days again as it was great , this poem I've wrote before in this great November , but i wasn't imagining that I'm going to live its story again after 7 years from publishing it , i realoaded the process with the same words again , in order just to remember , and keep the memorial ,

In the winter scary nights
I enjoyed thinking of rights
Given to me, and to those...
People, have I gained or lost
My concepts in this dreadful life
Am I a body without a soul nor a power of life?
Or a skeleton covered with skin and flesh
But its thoughts remain UN fresh
And decomposes before my death

I have tried to think of love
But there was always nothing to love
I felt my heart cold, even under a stove
But try to thoughts.... as same as me now
Love is only present with life
But me, fleshy body thinking mind
My aims only means unkind
For the daily dreadful life

Try with me to rescue
My thinking mind, my concepts
My heart and true...
Feelings I am living in now,
Take me out of that sea....
Of problems I am sinking in,
Give me love or...
Give me once, other than you to love

Be sure I will not refuse, love
Nor anyone, which is feeling of love
I’m not the person whom
These kinds of refusal in his mind

Think of that, and be sure
Anything you want is for you
Even if you needs, all the rest of my life

A Walk to Remember

2007-09-28T14:30:00.000+02:00

Filled with desire to write today , although i feel nothing new is happening this days except that I'm just feeling a bit calm from inside , though i was enjoying only to write in depression times ,but i feel writing in the current mood is better, in spite i think it produce just an ordinary works not like the “hits” i wrote before as i believe , but thinking that “ordinary works” is much better than “depressive hits” .

Back home from my dream beloved city , and publishing my first series of snapshots , for the first time i feel the hope to reach the 100^th episode of this snapshots , although I've lost the ability to blog even a single snapshot beside the sea , but feeling satisfied of gaining this ability back here .

roaming the streets charge me with the power to output words , and situations i see and experience catalyze the process of making this words neat and ready for its readers ............
the process of flowing thoughts out of the writer's mind differs from a writer to another as it represents the fingerprints like sign , which distinguish a writer from another , and thats what implies the ultimate distinctive characteristics of writings to each one of them , and for me , i think I'm still searching for my sign with you , my dear readers ..........
i think that blogging will be considered as one of the best inventions among the 21^st century and it may continue to be the main gate for the word producers like me , although i think it may have a great impact upon the future of thoughts publishing in the near future , as soon as papers will disappear from our life and paper workings will be as valuable as old pharonic papyruses , but will i live till the day to see my paper library as one of the next century or era museums ???
“my blog , my territory” , a quote i realized now after i took the decision to transfer my blog into a territory that i govern , setting its rules and by myself and building inside my Utopian word statues , a territory that anyone can visit without a passport , and roam inside with no definite rules , so watch for my current and next updates .........

its ME !!!

2007-08-29T01:51:00.000+03:00

Today i was impressed by ME , and in spite i rarely do think of writing things about ME for the reason of that for sure all the writings you read before and you will read in the future if the world contained a place for me to do so in the next times will express ME even i never mentioned a word about , thats because ME is the once who directs this writings and then this it what ME do think of and blog , same like ME

feeling like I'm fed up of thinking , but not fed up of writing , the need to blog everything i see became to me a very great moment of passion , while writing i can express all what i wanna shout out in thins world but my voice cant deliver its meaning , but on the other way i must think , act and interact in order to have something to write , interaction not only by the means of physical once , but interaction for me represents the moments where i got involved in the action by my mind and sensations , not necessarily to be expressing your opinion for the variables of the situation or even having a role inside , but the really important thing is to find a role for the situation inside my mind and employ it efficiently to produce a word for tomorrow .

"no day without a line to write" a quote i heard while reading one of the books and when firstly i saw it i thought this word includes my daily situation when i blog , but after moment of thinking i discovered that this words are the most far thing from me since i stay sometimes for long period of weeks without even a sentence to write , and on the other side some days come with thoughts and words that even the twenty four hours available are to short to write and that i need another hours more to blog , which results a load of papers containing thoughts , poems , and even just words unbounded to each others but means more for me .
About the girl sitting two tables right from mine : i lived my life and still living dreaming of a companion like you, but not exactly same like you , i love the your style , the way which you appear living by , but ............... I cant Afford so , and my life also cant fit in with yours.
I go sad for every moment i thought , concluded an idea and haven't recorded it , because if i have done so then today maybe i was having a better time with more good words to write and more tidy thoughts to produce this words , and maybe my thoughts were different than those of today , writings drive my concepts as it learns me how to behold the future scenes , and how to inspire the world to live my life , and to blog more for history .
An article i read before claimed that “Blogging” is one of the words resulting from the human daily applications of abbreviating word , but i do consider it as the 21^st century basic media invention, blogging is the first child born for human mind thoughts expression, and maybe the only child for another centuries as many people think, but when looking on the other side will notice that blogging may have the shortest life between inventions in this era .
Thoughts are developing in my mind now about blogging a new article about the past , but when we go to define the past we only claim its “ the events , feelings occurred days before” but for me i think its only the events and feelings occurred days before that affected us only , by positive or negative it doesn't matter , because the nature of the human mind can never record the past events as a whole , but just it can record snapshots from it

coming to this point , i do think its enough for now and lets stop here , and retrieve all the past snapshots we have recorded inside our minds .............

The Meaning of Success

2007-08-18T06:28:00.000+03:00

In every day and every moment upon this earth people search for success , awake or even asleep time they also do dig dreams for it , thats a common act nearly done by 99.999% of people living upon this earth , although till now we cant find a common definition for success , as every person do rate success as “the process of fulfilling his specific dream” , its the nature of the individual human mind thats always seeks for benefiting from any issue it can find or express in order just to feel its like doing something new every day , then ... we can from this look interrelate success with every activity and every movement people do in this life.

Oh , i forgot sorry to tell you whats the 0.001% of the people on the other side do , those people also i forgot to tell you that they are rated by the others as the “mentally retarded persons” kept in special places for only that they were blamed by the other when they named the others “mentally retarded persons” too!!! , then the problem here is not for the persons opinions but matters with the power of every side to impose its rules , then success here represents a situation where the powerful side acquires its objectives of success by neglecting the other side objectives , and so , this life will keep rotating like a wheel ,

but in the other side of the conflict , the weak side of the conflict isn't just fighting with silliness thinking that they can win such a match where all its evidences is just pointing for the win criteria of the competing side , the matter for them represents a life or death issue too where they are also thinking of winning this battle in order to imply there rules of success,so the weak side in a specific battle may search for aids of winning which mean they will improve there abilities for the sake of exceeding them more than thats of the winning side and so grabbing the winning option from the others.

finally , we can conclude from the above boring story that success; for a person or a group no matter ,represent in its first goals or objectives the need to defeat the rules of success for all its opposites , then .... , success is not a process as we think that represent a value added benefits to the society , but its just a process where some of those benefits are transferred mutually and vigorously from some parties or individuals to another, then success do represents an issue of distributing benefits among its seekers in terms of their abilities to hold them without letting the others to have them as the final gifts they have as a result of applying their rules efficiently , then , victory in all cases upon these planet as we see , must represent the process of walking above another victims bodies , which makes me feel how wild this life is .

For me , ladies and gentlemen i do name success in a different way , because i don't believe in such wild jungles rules , life is more simple than we even think , success as i think is the ultimate sense of satisfaction that flows from the feel of happiness which mainly evolves around us as a completion for this feeling of happiness , life is more simple than anyone can imagine because humans now days are complicating their surrounding life by imposing the rules and variables which mainly affects the life of them before affecting the life of the others ,

lets try to come back ,to the early days of humanity , or even the early days of our life when we used to draw flowers inside our hearts and souls before even drawing it inside our drawing book sheets , lets return to the pure minds era , where nothing were marking our souls with this days ugly black marks, life is so simple , and thats how we must live it in our whole rest life .

A Little Brainstorm

2007-08-14T14:58:00.000+03:00

I love you though i know how the end may come ,

in spite i know , i still love you ,

love is the power to change for me ,

and thats what makes me powered to exchange the end

with another bright , neat and shiny once .................

Future , so far as i cant see you ,

nor even feel your breeze

are you really so far as i think ,

or I'm captured where no access to your breeze ......................

hey , my today dream mistress ,

i know you still haven't decided your way in life

ask the unbelievables !!!

and you'll trust me then ........................

I'll love you darling as much as life allows me to love you

but don't ask me for more

as i cant disobey this rules of life

and it will be the time for my next mistress................

i know the days much than you know it

because I've been touched by days

but I'm dead sure that days loves me

more than it loved someone like you ...............

The Start

2007-07-16T05:45:00.000+03:00

When I decided to write this series , I was aiming to record my thoughts by such way which make me always remember my moods and thoughts in a specific moment that I wish never to forget this thing ever , plus my normal objective to blog life at every moment I can for the purpose of providing reference for people wishing to maintain life with no new experiences but just seeing what they have experienced before from reading , writing right now from a café in front of Stanley bridge in Alexandria , one of the fewest cafes in Alexandria which contains a hotspot , after spending a previous 48 hours of pleasure and happiness in the city I dream to live there my whole rest life , the past hours was great to feel that I’m staying in my dream place , but after I realized that just a few hours and I will be back to my original resident city I came back to its depressive mood , I feel its sarcastic for someone to have his permanent resident in a place faraway from his dream spa.
Sitting here right now announcing the born of a new series in my writings , but sorry I have to go back for paper blogging because my laptop isn’t available with me due to its heavy weight (wishing to have a better solution for live blogging soon, processing now for its details) , plus I think that my internet addict friend “Nayer Rashad” will not allow me to use his laptop for a long time , thoughts are popping up inside my brain and will be processed to writings right now but I will typewrite it when I’m back to Cairo , just watch for it…..

Note: this is the fist live blogging experience for me , to publish in the same time right after paper blogging , it was very hard for me to convince “Nayer” to allow me to use his machine but my depressed mood made him to give up using it and provided to me , special thanks to “Nayer” plus the sun started to shine now while im typewriting , the above picture I took the time I was paper blogging this thoughts , the weather is wonderful , which bring me back to paper blogging mood , so bye for now

Once A Time (the stone Above my Grave)

2007-07-13T03:54:00.000+03:00

ONCE A TIME I WAS ASKED WHY
THE WORLD DOESN' INTEREST ME
I SAID, WHEN THE HAPPINESS SAY GOODBYE
WORLD WILL LOSE WAY TO TRUTH
SOMETHING, MEANING NOTHING OF KINDS
OF THE HAPPINESS IN MY MIND
ONLY THING WHICH MEANING TO
NOTHING TO LOVE, NO FRIENDS TO YOU

ONCE A TIME I WAS ASKED WHY
AND WHAT MY THINKING WILL LEAD ME TO
A PRISON TO LIVE MY WHOLE LIFE IN
OR A GRAVE WITH WALLS OF THIN..
LAYERS OF STONES ANS ONCE ABOVE
TO SUPPORT MY HEAD AND TO RECORD
THAT I AM THE PERSON WHOM
LOST HIS CONCEPTS IN THAT DULL
WORLD OF THE DREADFUL BULLS

*This Poem Were Awarded for Best 100 poems Ever in Year 2000 , Published in the book "Nature's Echoes" and was Narrated in the CD "the sound of poetry Vol. 2"

A Summer Eve

2007-07-13T01:13:00.000+03:00

Walking silent, in the street
Above the pavement, by your feet
Looking here and looking there
Light and loudness everywhere
People shouting, children playing
Shouting, singing, dancing, playing
All means happiness, no sad there
I must go far to elsewhere
Silent, darkness only there
Take a taxi, pay the fare
Tell him to go to anywhere
Silent, darkness only there

*Written in the remembrance of the days of my sociological Success july-august 1999

The start

2007-05-28T21:23:00.000+03:00

Coming So soon , here will be my permenant place to publish all my writings , come here frequently , i will always update this blog with my final edits , in arabic and english ,